Bar Tab

I almost had a panic attack when we walked into the Twofish Baking Company at the start of our summer vacation in Sea Ranch. “Are you already out of baguettes?” my eyes widening with fear as I noticed the empty baguette shelf.

“Relax,” Hilla said. “They haven’t even come out of the oven yet. They come out at 9:30.”

“Do they come out at 9:30 everyday?” I asked, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Yes,” Hilla confirmed. “You gals are just here early today.” Even still, sometimes it doesn’t matter if Margaret’s baked goods are not out of the oven yet. She often sells out before she even bakes things, because people-in-the-know pre-order.

Twofish baked goods. Margaret is in the back by the ovens, waving.

We discovered the Twofish Baking Company the year before last when we noticed the bakery in the sleepy Ranch Center. It was probably about two in the afternoon and we were in search of bread. I stuck my head in to see what kinds of baked goods they had, and saw one lone cupcake and a cookie.

“I don’t know what kind of bakery that is,” I said to Jenny as I got back in the car. “They hardly have any baked goods. And I didn’t even see any bread.”

The next year, in search of bread again, and disappointed with the offerings at the Surf Supermarket in Gualala, we decided to try the bakery again. “Drive faster,” I said to Jenny. “I think they close early.” But it was a Wednesday and the bakery was closed. “Open Thursday-Sunday,” noted the sign on the door.

When I woke up the next morning, in our rented house about a mile down the road from the bakery, I nudged Jenny. “Do you smell that?” I asked. “I think I smell blueberry muffins.”

“Me too,” Jenny said. We pulled on some clothes and drove to the bakery. The shelf behind the counter was full of bread, and the glass case was full of baked goods. Chocolate croissants, almond croissants, morning buns, sticky buns, pumpkin bread, bear claws, and blueberry muffins.

“Look!” I whispered to Jenny. “I knew I smelled Blueberry muffins!”

“I’ll have a cup of coffee and a chocolate croissant,” Jenny said.

“And I’ll have a blueberry muffin and a cappuccino,” I said. “And a baguette.”

“This chocolate croissant is just the right combination of sweet and savory,” Jenny said as she took another bite of the pastry.

The next morning the smell of lemons came wafting through our bedroom window. “Do you smell that?” I asked Jenny. “She must be making lemon scones!”

And sure enough, there were lemon scones in the glass case.

“I’ll have a lemon scone and a cappuccino,” I said. “And a baguette.” I’d sidle up to the bakery bar and watch Margaret pull things out of the oven and make conversation with all the local Sea Ranchers.

“Hey Margaret,” said an older gentleman in biking gear. “Can you save me a pizza? I’ll come back after my bike ride.”

“She makes pizzas too?” I whispered to Jenny as I watched Margaret frost cupcakes and Hilla whip up a moccachino. The pizzas come out of the oven just before noon. Margaret also makes sandwiches and salads, and she’ll roast a soup in the baking ovens, usually on Thursdays or Fridays. The semolina rolls come out on Saturdays. Crispy and airy rolls that go great with burgers. She also bakes her own dog biscuits in case you bring along your pooch. Something for everyone.

I had lots of questions for Margaret, but I was too shy to ask. Do you have a stove or only baking ovens? How many pounds of butter do you go through in a week? Is that Focaccia coming out of the oven? How long does it take to make a baguette? Is Hilla your business partner and your life partner? Where did you get your baking training? Do you make granola every day? How did you decide to become a baker? What time do you get here every morning? Do your feet get tired? How many baguettes do you make in a day?

“Look,” I whispered to Jenny. “She’s cutting the baguettes for sandwiches.”

One of our last days of vacation last year, we got to the bakery and ordered our morning pastries and coffee. “And a baguette, please.”

“Sorry,” Hilla said. “I just sold the last one.” We got there late that day. The sandwiches were all made and Margaret was making the pizzas by the time I sat down at the bar with my cappuccino.

I mustered the courage to ask Margaret a question.

“Margaret?” I asked, “Do you make pizzas everyday?”

“Yep.” Margaret doesn’t waste words.

“Could we reserve two?” I asked hesitantly.

“Sorry. Sold out.”

“Harumph,” I sighed out loud. “No baguette and the pizzas are sold out before they’ve even come out of the oven? Maybe I should pre-order.”

“You really should,” Hilla and Margaret both agreed. “You buy a baguette everyday. You may as well rest assured that there’ll be one for you when you get here.”

“Okay, well then I’ll take two baguettes for tomorrow,” I requested. The next day was Sunday and I had to make sure to have enough bread until the bakery opened again on Thursday. “And four pizzas.”

Four pizzas?” Margaret teased. Uh-oh, did I over-order? Is that bad bakery etiquette?

“We have guests,” I lied.

“Sure you do.”

This year, with the ice broken with Hilla and Margaret, I sometimes hang around the bakery bar for hours. Observing all the baking activities. Locating the phone when it rings. Asking questions. And I pre-order everyday. One baguette on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Two baguettes on Sundays as well as a loaf of wheat or multigrain for toast on the mornings that the bakery is closed. And Pizza or sandwiches for lunch. We don’t usually pre-order the morning pastries.

“Do you have a pastry policy?” I asked Margaret. It seemed the savory croissants were always gone by the time I arrived at the bakery.

“Depends,” she said as she frosted a cake.

“On the customer?” I asked.

“Pretty much,” Margaret said. “I generally require people to order seven pastries if they want them reserved. I can’t reserve one morning bun, just because some people don’t like getting up early.” I didn’t want to press my luck and ask her to reserve me a savory croissant just because I am not a morning person. Maybe since they’re savory, they aren’t part of the pastry policy?

“I wonder if I should risk it and get here early on Thursday?” I pondered aloud.

“What are you looking for?” Margaret asked, leaning in on the counter.

“Well, I’d like a baguette, two pizzas and… a savory croissant.”

“Spinach and Feta or Ham and Gruyere?” I decided on the Ham and Gruyere.

“Consider it done,” Margaret said.

A few days later, we got to the bakery early, in time for the savory croissants. But Jenny and I decided on our own policy. “We better start sharing a pastry in the morning,” we decided, otherwise we might need another policy involving Weight Watchers.

Jenny wanted an Apple Danish that day. The danish was delicious, a crisp, buttery pastry with the perfect combination of cinnamon and apples that were still slightly crunchy. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the ham and gruyere croissants. Liz, another regular, sat next to me at the bar.

“How are you today?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m fine. I’m just sitting here trying to resist the savory croissants.”

“Which one is your favorite?” Liz asked.

“Well I like them both, but today I am trying to resist the ham and gruyere.”

“Want to split one?” Liz asked. “My treat.”

Delighted by this turn of events, I said, “No, it will be my treat. They’ll put it on my bakery bar tab. But we better get on it. Look at all those people in the line.”

The savory croissant was worth every calorie. I was so mesmerized by its crispy and flaky exterior and the thinly sliced ham and gruyere cheese that was melting in my mouth, that I walked out without paying for it.

“We better take a long walk today,” I said to Jenny. Later when we came back to the bakery for our lunch, I confessed. “I walked out of here without paying for anything this morning.” Margaret smiled.

Now we do our bakery finances once a day, either in the morning or the afternoon after lunch. I think it saves Hilla time, especially with all the loot we carry out of there everyday. Our daily order can take her a good three minutes to ring up.

“Hit me,” Hilla will say.

“One coffee, one cappuccino, an apple danish, a savory croissant, an almond croissant, a Sunday New York Times, three baguettes, a loaf of wheat bread, an Italian sandwich, two pizzas, two lemonades, a bag of granola, and two dog biscuits,” I said last Sunday. “Oh and a trail mix cookie.” This order was a little larger than usual because we really did have a guest this time. My seventeen-year-old nephew with a healthy appetite, Akber, was visiting, and he loves the baguettes as much as I do.

“That will be $62.50,” Hilla said as I handed her my card. “Quite a bakery day,” she observed.

“I have a new line item in our budget,” I said. “The bakery budget.”

Rumor has it that Margaret and Hilla are going to start selling their granola online, so those of us who live far away can mail order it. I wonder if I could convince them to FedEx me a baguette from time to time?

Masala Madness

When I was helping Ami take care of Aba in London, I asked her to teach me how to cook Pakistani food.

She showed me a basic recipe for chicken masala. “You have to make sure to bhoono the spices,” she instructed. This technique, done on high heat with constant stirring, cooks the spices and prevents them from tasting raw.

“When the oil separates from the water, you know you’ve bhoonoed it enough.”

I used this technique over the years for all kinds of dishes. Chicken masala, vegetable masala, ande (egg) ka masala. And then an aunt told me about Shan Masala. “Have you tired Shan Masala?” she asked.

“No, what is that?”

Shan Masala is “premium quality” pre-mixed spices for a variety of South Asian dishes. Everything from Dal to Chappli Kababs and Biryani. I found Shan Masalas at my local Indian grocery store. First I tried the Chappli Kababs. They were delicious. Every Shan Masala I tried, tasted authentic. Never mind the high sodium content.

The instructions, however, can be confusing.

“How many grams in a pound?” I asked Jenny. The Chappli Kabab recipe called for 500-600 grams of minced beef.

I like Dal with my Chappli Kababs so I got out the Shan Dal Curry box. “Let’s make Dal, Doll,” I said to Jenny. I carefully measured a cup of lentils or 175 grams plus three tablespoons.

The recipe instructed me to add six glasses of water to the lentils. “Six glasses? What do they mean six glasses?” I blurted. “What size glasses? Tall glasses, or small glasses?”

Before that I was instructed to fry some onions “for few minutes.” That’s straight forward enough, but how many minutes equals “few minutes?” Three to five? Or more like ten? And a few minutes until what? Until they turn golden brown? Or just translucent? On high heat or medium high? Fortunately, I had my mother’s cooking training to fall back on. I decided one glass is the equivalent to one cup and cook for “few minutes,” means until they are golden brown. Which takes close to ten minutes.

I still don’t know how many grams are in a pound.

Canine Confusion

When Jenny talks to the dog, sometimes I think she is talking to me.

The other day Jenny was picking Rosie up to put her in the car and she said, “You are getting so heavy.”

“What?” I said surprised. “You think I’ve gained weight?” And then I realized she was talking to Rosie.

“I don’t mind feeding you twice a day if you exercise,” Jenny said yesterday. I was a little surprised that suddenly Jenny seemed so interested in my diet and exercise.

“I have been exercising,” I said, slightly defensively as I munched on some crusty French bread and stinky cheese. And then I realized she was talking to Rosie.

Or sometimes Jenny will coo, “Oh such a pretty girl,” and I start smiling and fluttering my eyes. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking to me.”

I’ve seen the same thing happen to Rosie. Jenny might say to me, “Should we have some dinner?” And Rosie will look at us expectantly thinking another serving of Grammy’s Chicken Pot Pie might be served.

Does this dog make me look fat?

Cherry Picking

I was opening a kitchen drawer looking for a clean cloth when a cockroach the size of a baby hummingbird scurried across the inside. “Ugh! there’s a cockroach!” I screamed.

Jenny came running into the kitchen. “Over there! Over there!” I yelled pointing at the drawer.

Jenny swatted at it. “Did you get it?”

“I don’t think so. It got away.”

“Ewwwe,” I said in disgust. “We need to remodel the kitchen. I can’t cook in this place.”

Jenny in the old kitchen.

We had purchased the house in Long Beach a few months earlier. For the most part it was in good shape, but the kitchen was a dump. The cabinets seemed to be made of plywood and the drawers required a lot of maneuvering to open and close. When we pulled up the interior of a lower cabinet to install the new stove when we moved in, we found rat droppings. I almost threw up.

“No sense in waiting,” I declared, even though we had already taken on a big debt with the purchase of the house. “I’m calling the bank to see if we can get a loan.”

With the loan secured, I called our contractor, Earl Weaver. Earl is a gentle older man, originally from Pennsylvania. His suspenders look like tape measures.

Earl arrived the next day to survey the kitchen. “We want to take down the wall between the dining room and the kitchen,” I explained. I decided I could design the place myself. Not that I am trained as an architect or a designer, except in my fantasy life, but I sketched out a rough design on a piece of paper anyway, and Earl, his assistant, Alvaro, and I made decisions along the way.

My attempt at sketching out a design for the new kitchen. Super-imposed on the temporary wall while the remodel is in progress.

“What kind of cabinets will you want?” Earl asked.

“I’m not sure,” I replied. “Maybe Maple?”

“I recommend Cherry wood,” Earl said.

“I love Cherry wood,” I said. “But we might not be able to afford it. I’m trying to stay within our budget.”

“How about if I bring over some wood samples?” Earl asked.

The next day Earl brought five samples of wood, some stained lighter than others. “Which one is the Maple?” I asked, eying a lighter stain.

“Oh, these are all Cherry,” Earl responded.

“I thought you were bringing over samples of different kinds of wood.” I said.

“No, these are all Cherry, with different stains so you can see the variety.”

“But we might not be able to afford Cherry,” I reminded him.

“I recommend you go with the Cherry wood,” Earl said. It seemed easier to agree with him on this rather then keep pressing for Maple.

“Ok, then.”

The new kitchen, almost finished. Earl was right about the Cherry wood.

When it came time to install the windows, Earl gave me a card of a woman he uses to purchase windows. “But this is a housecleaning service,” I said reading the card.

“That’s her other business,” Earl clarified. “The window business is on the other side.”

“Well that’s handy. We need a housecleaning service.”

I called Adriana the next day. “Our contractor, Earl Weaver, gave me your card. We’re going to be purchasing windows from you, but I notice you also have a house cleaning business and we need a housecleaner.”

“Oh, yes, Earl Weaver. He’s my pastor,” Adriana said on the other end of the phone.

“No,” I corrected her, thinking she must have had someone else in mind. “Earl Weaver is a contractor.”

“No, you see. Earl is like me. During the day he has one job, and at night and on weekends, he is a pastor.”

Not that I am religious, but for some reason, knowing my contractor is also a pastor, gives me great comfort.

Pass the cherry wood, please, Pastor Earl.