I was having a glass of wine with a couple of friends who also work in philanthropy. We ordered a bottle of Montrachet and an assortment of cheeses, crusty bread and crackers. “Our foundation makes grants and partners with organizations for the long-term,” one of my friends was saying as she sipped her wine. She said some foundations she knows prioritize emerging organizations, “So they might make a grant to an organization one year to seed their work, and they may or may not make a grant to the same organization the next year.”

Our other friend and I raised our eyebrows in mild disapproval as we paired some Mt. Tam Cheese with a piece of bread. “I like to take a long-term approach,” our other friend said.

“I know,” I chimed in. “You and I are so not into polyamory. We like making long-term commitments.” I happen to know she is married with two kids and I’m pretty sure she and her husband are monogamous.

Lately I’ve noticed more and more of my friends are talking about how they are in polyamorous relationships or they want to be in a polyamorous relationship. My ex-girlfriend recently told me that she has another girlfriend and her partner has a boyfriend. “We’re polyamorous,” she said. And another friend recently told me she didn’t want to be tied down to one person. “I’m polyamorous,” she too told me.

Seems to be a bit of a trend, I observed over wine and cheese with my foundation friends. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” I said. “It’s just not my thing.”

“My job and home life are busy enough,” my married foundation friend said. “How could I handle more than one relationship?”

“I know,” I agreed. “You just get to know one organization and then you want to begin funding an entirely new one? That seems so fickle.”

“Some foundations might fund one thing for one or two years,” we observed. “And then they go into strategic planning and change their priorities and begin funding in a completely different area.”

“That’s so polyamorous,” we decided.

It reminded me of a workshop at an LGBT conference many years ago. I’m pretty sure it was titled, “Polly Wants More Than a Cracker.” I’m beginning to think the polyamorous community and the philanthropy community have more in common than they realize.

“Can we get some more crackers?” we asked the waiter. We were out of bread, and there was still some cheese left.

Polly Wants More Than a Cracker