Typically there are seven days and nights of functions involving custom-made ornate outfits, hair and make-up, jewelry, and a myriad of other details including outdoor tents, catering  and seating for hundreds of guests as well as several gifts for the new bride including multiple sets of jewels. There’s the Mehndi, which takes place the day before the actual wedding, a ceremony of mostly women who apply Mehndi, or Henna as it is known in the West, to the bride’s hands and feet, and then all the ladies sing, dance, and bless the bride as they hop around her.

There’s also usually a musical evening, and for Baba’s wedding this included a private concert by the Sabri Brothers, a well-known musical group trained  in Qawwali and North Indian classical music. There’s the Nikah, a small private ceremony for the bride and groom to sign their marriage contract. And then the actual wedding celebration which is typically hosted by the bride’s family. On the final night of festivities is the Walima, or reception for the bride and groom as their first full public event together.

 

At the time, the Pakistani wedding custom was new to me. For the several years prior to the wedding, we had been mostly living in Connecticut. I was becoming increasingly Americanized and I thought these Pakistani wedding traditions were too elaborate. I think my parents may have thought so too. Towards the end of the week of festivities they did not look very festive.

This picture is among my favorite photos of my parents. They are both scowling in a way that is so authentic and unfiltered. It wasn’t the first time I had seen these expressions on their faces, nor was it the last. It’s clearly a look that got passed down to their children. Here I am trying it out early.