I was texting Jenny, “Having found my purpose, I am now going to work on my vision.” Since I travel so much for work, I try to keep her informed about the kinds of things I am up to.

“Umm, What?” She texted back.

Jenny is in a different line of work than me.  She is a humanities professor, so when I say things like, “I really need to see measurable outcomes,” she looks at me quizzically.

Last year we had a dinner party and I noticed all our friends were interrupting each other so I told them about the Talking Stick.

“The what?” everyone responded almost in unison. I explained the concept of the Talking Stick, which has been used for centuries by Native American Tribes as a means of just and impartial hearing.

“You are all interrupting each other. In my line of work, we are very intentional about giving everyone the space to talk, so sometimes, we pass around a Talking Stick, which can come in just about any form. When you are holding the Talking Stick, you are the one speaking and the others have to listen actively to what you are saying. Let’s try it!” I said passing around a fork to symbolize the Talking Stick.

They humored me. Though I think they rather liked the concept of the Talking Stick, because now I notice sometimes at parties, when someone is dominating the conversation, another person will say, “We need the Talking Stick.”

Last week I was at a Rockwood Leadership Institute training called the Art of Leadership. I applied last fall for it and was excited when I was accepted.

We learned quite a lot in the Institute. Active listening. Staying centered on our purpose,  thinking carefully about our outcomes and process. This is called a POP analysis: Purpose, Outcomes, Process.

One of the nights we had a free night so some of us went out for cocktails. Around the third or fourth cocktail, we  started talking about how outcomes-focused philanthropy can be. So we made a friendly addition to the POP analysis. We came up with the PUP Analysis: Purpose Unleashing Power. What we liked about PUP is that it it can be a PUPPY that grows into a DAWG. If an idea or concept is in its infancy or if it is geared towards young people it can be a PUPPY: Process Unleashing Progressive Power for Youth. When it grows into a DAWG it is Doing a World of Good.

The other thing I learned is that it is really important to pay attention to how you say things, because it’s easy to misinterpret what gets said. For instance, at the training, my friend Todd said, “We should look for some far out liars.” And I said, “Why would we want to look for liars?” What he meant to say was, “Far outliers.”

Later, Todd was getting a little unnerved by all the negative comments people were making about the anus. He thinks when people say things like, “that’s so anal retentive,” it’s derogatory because he believes retaining things in one’s anus can be a source of pleasure.

He asked me if I would join his Ass Lander committee. And I said, “Why would I want to join an Ass Lander committee?” I have nothing against people landing on each others asses, but I am on enough committees and I wasn’t sure I wanted to join this one. “No, not the Ass Lander Committee, the Ass Slander Committee,” explained Todd.

“Oh, well in that case,” I said, “I’m in.” I wanted to be supportive of him and his efforts to reclaim the ass as a source of pleasure.

I told Jenny about the Ass Slander Committee when I got home, and she’s considering joining too. I love it when our activist and academic worlds come closer together.